>if you're spending every waking hour coding, you're unlikely to be building relationships.
I think this is a critical skill that our industry hasn't done a great job of building, and I think few industries do that well. Engineers have a stereotype of being bad at this by default and there isn't much clear help on how to improve, in contrast to the many freely accessed guides on how to improve with technology.
The following is less mask-on comment directed at neurodivergent people, as I'm neurodivergent and have people as a special interest, and often am in the position of helping people with social skills. I'm code switching, which is why my pattern of speech might not match other times I've commented.
In my experience, any direct help or advice on improving relationships doesn't work. Building relationships first requires one to value people and relationships, which when you're the type of person to take to computers over people, its usually for a reason: people can be jerks, they're unpredictable, and in a lot of nerds and neurodivergent people's formative years they're both wildly immature and often cruel. This can turn people off of other people as an interest for a long time, even a lifetime. Some find good outlets or the right group, and develop a sense that people are valuable, but often people are not seen as a reliable way to get needs met, or they find themselves in a very insular group that devalues other groups.
Most of the business world is run by not-nerds, by neurotypical people, who found that developing relationships would be the key to their success. This is inherently a foreign language, it has a lot of well-known downsides (hype-trains, incentives for agreeableness over depth or correctness to name a few), but like, if you can't appreciate what the role is and how its valuable, you may not be able to interface with it well. Thankfully most tech/engineering management is a hybrid of nerd and people persons - if one is so deep into their exclusive interests that they can't interface with a hybrid engineering+people specced person, its a warning sign for their ability to maintain work!
I think this is a critical skill that our industry hasn't done a great job of building, and I think few industries do that well. Engineers have a stereotype of being bad at this by default and there isn't much clear help on how to improve, in contrast to the many freely accessed guides on how to improve with technology.
Also, I love the Starcraft analogy <3