With real world probabilities, the mean human is a man with 0.9987 testicles who has personally given birth to 1.15 children, and who lives within a 3386 km radius of 都鲁, Sichuan.
Which is one of several reasons why you were wrong to complain about distorting "real-world probabilities" in the first place, and was also the point I was illustrating with my example.
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it.