I think we can't trust our emotions. Evolutionary speaking it was probably a good idea for the brain to send a signal for us to be with the group so that we don't stray off alone, and as such this manifested in some brain function that sends the signal of loneliness like the OP describes from his school days.
However I think the issue is that we think these emotions tell us something grander about our lives but I don't think they do. I think they are like when you put your hand on a hot stove, the neurons fire and you feel pain. Loneliness as described in the blog post is just as fleeting and biological/instant as this.
I think even a person who is surrounded by people all the time can suddenly get this emotion of loneliness if he suddenly finds himself alone and everyone else is out to a party. Even more evidence that it is probably just a fleeting biological response like any other.
It's in _combination_ with analytical skills and abstract reasoning that this biological response takes root and becomes something more than it actually was evolutionary, and thus becomes a bigger deal than it actually is.
It is a lack of bigger goals and short-medium term goals / meaning that excaserbates the analyzing of the loneliness response.
And that's the great sadness of human life imo, we basically have a bunch of primal emotional responses + an abstract story telling and meaning driven neocortex which aren't really compatible with each other directly and do not communicate with each other in the same language when they are actually 2 separate physical systems.
One must not takes ones emotions seriously but rather always analyze in the abstract and then come to some sort of peace with the life one has and also plan for the future and look into the past. Emotions like loneliness should be seen as mere guides and not tadpoles imo.
Agree. Our emotions are not adapted for the world we’ve built, yet they almost have superuser access to our physiology and meaning-making. Usually your neocortex follows the emotions and makes stories that support the emotion, and that can be tragic because the emotion often gets stuck on a false alarm.
Getting the neocortex somewhat more in control seems to be a difficult and lifelong (but worthwhile) skill to develop. Witness the lucrative self-help industry for the scale of the problem/opportunity.
> I think even a person who is surrounded by people all the time can suddenly get this emotion of loneliness if he suddenly finds himself alone and everyone else is out to a party
Reminds me of some story I heard (would be great if someone has a source) that you can spot who has more chance of dying of suicide in social graphs, because they are connected to (perhaps many) people but are not part of a single clique (group)
However I think the issue is that we think these emotions tell us something grander about our lives but I don't think they do. I think they are like when you put your hand on a hot stove, the neurons fire and you feel pain. Loneliness as described in the blog post is just as fleeting and biological/instant as this.
I think even a person who is surrounded by people all the time can suddenly get this emotion of loneliness if he suddenly finds himself alone and everyone else is out to a party. Even more evidence that it is probably just a fleeting biological response like any other. It's in _combination_ with analytical skills and abstract reasoning that this biological response takes root and becomes something more than it actually was evolutionary, and thus becomes a bigger deal than it actually is.
It is a lack of bigger goals and short-medium term goals / meaning that excaserbates the analyzing of the loneliness response. And that's the great sadness of human life imo, we basically have a bunch of primal emotional responses + an abstract story telling and meaning driven neocortex which aren't really compatible with each other directly and do not communicate with each other in the same language when they are actually 2 separate physical systems.
One must not takes ones emotions seriously but rather always analyze in the abstract and then come to some sort of peace with the life one has and also plan for the future and look into the past. Emotions like loneliness should be seen as mere guides and not tadpoles imo.